is me…

Got myself a hilarious gig for the News of the World for the next wee bit.

As Captain Cash I will be “swooping” in on one lucky family each week and handing them 150 notes for their weekly shop.

Just doing my bit to ease the current economic climate and poverty in our society, you know.

Check out the red top each Sunday for the latest on my stint as the er… caped crusader…

By Rodney Edwards
e-mail: rodney@rodneyedwards.co.uk

Chris Moyles will be broadcasting his Radio 1 show live from Los Angeles this week, I can exclusively reveal.

Beeb bosses gagged Moyles and gang from revealing the location because it was, er, top secret.

Teasing trailors have been played throughout Radio 1 and Geek World, Aled.info and Chrismoyles.net have been full of speculation.

But now the truth is out after a member of the Chris Moyles team revealed plans of the secret project to me earlier today, but who let the cat out of the bag? Suggestions below please! (Clue: this particular individual is married).

Make sure you tune into the Chris Moyles Show on Radio 1, Mon from 6.30am - with a jolly big time difference of eight hours.

Interviewed Dizzee Rascal in Germany the other week - a long and sweat-inducing task.

He greeted me with that cool wrist-to-thumb thing that rappers do.

Man, I felt ’street’.

He seemed tired so wasn’t exactly very forthcoming and after some gentle prodding, he growled a few times which was unfortunate. A bit later, and a few more nudges; fascinating wisdom started to spew from his articulated but potty mouth and the allocated 15 minute interview had begun. We discussed various topics like the rise in knife crime - through the haze of insanely bad language and all under the watchful eye of his two large and scary henchmen.

Check out part of my interview in the Mirror.

Later that night I watched the Dizz-master play in what was fast becoming a scene from 8 mile as I witnessed with both of my eyes; a large number of rowdy and drunk individuals screaming awful things about the law and making ghastly hand gestures. I left early and went back to the hotel. The Killers were partying downstairs (their manager confiscated my camera earlier in the night - only to return it to me without its battery) so I wasn’t in the best of moods with Brandon Flowers (the stroppy mare) and retired to my room.

5am the next morning and I had to get ready for my flight back to London. And walking past reception at this horrific hour (with drinks in hand) was none other than Mr Rascal and one of his henchmen - who came up to me and shouted; “You’re the guy that interviewed Dizzee?” “Yes” I replied, waiting for him to rugby-tackle me to the ground for interrogating his boss in a wonderfully tabloidy way. “Ah cool man, did you see the show?” “I did, it was great,” said I. “Cool mate, see you again, yeah?” He then hugged me and away they both went.

Dizzee didn’t say anything.

I later heard him say to a reporter that he’d happily “kick” his head in; should that particular journo upset him.

Perhaps I got off lightly…

The biggest challenge facing young journalists is simply - lack of respect.

At the ever popular door to journalism, many potential recruits await get in. One of the problems for young journalists is not being able to get any work because the majority of work goes to more experienced journalists. Basically, you can’t get work without experience but you can’t get experience without work. So what do you do? You go freelance.

Apart from getting beaten in the pay packet by those in the dole queue, freelance journalism for young journalists is a long and exasperating task every single day. You must work alone and attempt to sell stories (sometimes like a glorified PR person) as well as trying to make a name for yourself. As a young mother and her 19 brats enjoy a KFC bargain bucket; you feast on a packet of out-of-date chocolate muffins. Your hair grows down to your ankles as you wait for yet another commissioning editor to reply to your lengthily e-mail with the inevitable trademark two worded; “No thanks” response.

You e-mail your CV to editors and reporters nationally and regionally, hoping that something will come out of it – the ed will see it or the reporter will pass it on or even ask you to do a bit of work. But most of the time, no one ever replies. Some that do reply (mainly senior journalists) will have an unaccommodating attitude because they worry that they might lose their job to a mere child.

You see, I believe this is something that has become an awkward challenge for a lot of younger journalists; resulting in lack of confidence, career obstacles and money woes. And what I want to express with this post is my anger at the damaging amount of “snobbery” from pretentious individuals in the business that fail to nurture new flock to the fold. It can be exceptionally difficult for young freelance journalists when senior hacks shoot them down.

Many will fail to understand that younger people coming into the industry have learnt the trade a little different and have the capability of progressing easier in the media-savvy environment than those who think “contemporary” is doing a PowerPoint presentation. And they just need a chance to shine.

Whether it’s the older journalist’s uncomfortable attitude to the change in technology or the inability of using said technology; it all boils down to the fact that many established members of the press still don’t understand the true potential of embracing it and feel threatened by those that do.

And those that understand new ways of journalism will not understand why younger journalists don’t retain the values and knowledge of the old way of journalism. It’s a yawn-fest cycle of arrogance from both sides. Think that’s bad? Try the internal politics that young journalists get too…

So, you’ve just come out of journalism school. You have your pen and notebook in one hand, dictaphone in the er.. short hand and the nose for a good story. You sit tapping at the keyboard of a sluggish beast of a computer, 600 words on the local horticultural show must be filed in 15 mins and Aunt Flo who won first prize for her marvellous collection of daffodils is refusing to do pictures because her roots need done, apparently.

Picture desk needs pics and you can’t get any sorted and the old battleaxe in charge of photos is bombarding you with e-mails demanding you ring all your interviewees again and arrange some kind of shoot. The editor comes looking for the flower piece, he takes one look at it and screams “That’s shi*” before firing it across the room in fury. “You don’t know how to write, that’s not how I would have done it. Start again and get it done fast, don’t let me down!” he yells before devouring a magnum and sharing his irritation with the balloon in charge of photographs.

You feel like you’ve just been kicked but the one thing keeping you going is your ambition to one day move on to bigger things. You share your hopes with those in the office before releasing they couldn’t give a monkeys. “Someone got a chip on their shoulder?” asks Barbara in accounts.

Thankfully, I have been very fortunate to learn from many brilliant journalists and editors within the national and regional press and not many of what I wrote about has affected me – apart from a small number showing no respect. But those were mainly washed up middle-aged women and film critics. My message is clear; show young journalists more respect please.

Rodney Edwards is a freelance journalist from Northern Ireland and contributes to many UK national newspapers and magazines. He also writes for various publications across Ireland. E-mail rodney@rodneyedwards.co.uk or for cuttings and a full biography visit www.rodneyedwards.co.uk

This post was written for Journalism.co.uk’s brilliant new blog for Young Journalists and can be found here.

I last witnessed the brilliance of Mike Skinner on Sunday when he performed for Vodafone Music Unlimited on Brighton Beach. The Streets singer was on top form and knew exactly how to get the crowd going. Funny, charming and not someone with many worries, it seemed. So, it was quite a shock to read his blog yesterday.

The frantic scribble had Skinner’s fans fretting after he blogged about getting booted out of his home.

He wrote: “Yesterday I had my house repossessed.

“At approximately 8.30am about seven men broke down my door and told me I hadn’t kept up the repayments and therefore they would be taking all my belongings.

“The house was now the property of the bank. I ended up on the street with my girlfriend and child. Everything is just borrowed, I guess.”

He was inundated with messages of support and even a spare bed.

But Mike was talking about the plot of his new video for track Everything Is Borrowed — being filming in Camberwell, South London. And in the process, conveniently provided the tabloid press and me with a great little tale. Cheers Mike.

Well, if the fame-hungry, desperate, talentless wannabe Miss (because no one will marry her) Lily Allen can do it…

e-mail: rodney@rodneyedwards.co.uk

The Diocese of Clogher in Fermanagh has sparked controversy after sensationally banning pop music and poetry at funerals. The diocese which also covers parts of Tyrone, Monaghan and Louth have ordered priests to stop their congregation from playing “pop songs” during services because they have “no place” in funeral ceremonies.

The move has divided opinion with some saying the church has become “out of touch with reality.” ‘Candle in the Wind’ by Elton John or Westlife’s ‘Flying without Wings’ are just some of the songs that are now strictly prohibited from funerals.

Leaflets were handed out at Saint Mary’s Church in Castleblayney recently on behalf of the Diocese of Clogher. The leaflet, called “Celebrating a Catholic Funeral” said a return to traditionalism was needed to “affirm that the funeral Mass and the burial was a sacred occasion. In our Catholic tradition the funeral Mass and burial is not about a good ’send-off’ but faith in God,” it said.

“Practices such as personal poems about the deceased, favourite songs and the shaking of hands in the church before going to the graveside are breaking the continuous prayer that the funeral liturgy is. Personal contributions are permitted, as long as they are after the final blessing at the graveside.”

Speaking exclusively to me; Westlife star Kian Egan hit back at the Catholic Church and defended his band’s music; “If our songs are used in a funeral because it’s memorable to them people and it means something, then that’s great and understandable. Westlife songs are emotional songs, so I think they can be used in any scenario – a wedding or a funeral.”

Egan doesn’t see why the diocese has a problem, adding; “Obviously, funerals are very sad times and if Westlife’s music can put a smile on people’s face or a memory into somebody’s mind at a hard time, then it’s great that we can accomplish that with our music.” said the singer.

“Any response from a clergyman on this should be about the details of the matter in hand, not the individual giving the opinion.” said one Fermanagh Priest who preferred to remain anonymous when asked to comment.

“Secular songs, poems, eulogies and symbols such as football jerseys, etc. have a part to play in the remembrance of the deceased but in a secular setting, for example during the wake or at a gathering of family and friends after the Mass or service. However, a Christian funeral is not a memorial service but a gathering in faith to entrust the loved one to the Lord and to draw strength and comfort from Christ’s Resurrection and the promise of eternal life to His faithful. There is an abundance of rarely used, beautiful religious music that our choirs can offer to make the funeral liturgy meaningful. We need to make this wonderful musical resource more widely known and available to our congregations.” He said.

“The sad fact is the funeral of a family member, friend or neighbour is one of the increasingly few times we come together as a community, not for a social gathering but for a spiritual one and the words we speak, the music we listen to and the message we come away with should reflect this.” said the Priest.

Former Church of Ireland (Devenish Monea and Boho) minister Derek Kerr described playing pop songs at funerals as “corny and embarrassing”. He added: “They come from popular television, such as the funeral of Diana Princess of Wales and others. He agrees with the church’s decision on forbidding poems also; “One example that I have heard and, indeed, have let take place in the past is the reading of a poem entitled,”Death is nothing at all”. The sentiment is meant to give the family peace and probably succeeds but the whole thing makes light of the finality of death. Those who disagree with the Bishop’s stance will easily portray him as uncaring and out of touch. Yet they don’t have to be involved in the daily task of helping people move closer to faith or grow in it. They don’t see how a particular clergyman deals with a bereaved family and the caring way they are helped. Emotions run high at such times as death and so requests, such as the one in question, can be made that send out a message contrary to the gospel. We don’t need to be buoyed by lyrics that hold little, if any, real comfort.” he said.

But one University student from Enniskillen disagreed with the ban; branding the church “old-fashioned.” Joseph, 22, thinks that playing popular music shouldn’t matter. “It reminds us of all the good times we spent with them. The artist or genre of the music shouldn’t matter; Westlife for example, shouldn’t matter because their music is very meaningful. I think the Church is being a little out of touch with reality and a little old-fashioned. I’ve been to funerals were there has been pop music in the church or chapel, along with traditional music - both types of music in the one service fitted the mood perfectly. I think it’s up to the families of the person that has died to decide what songs should be played, not the church.”

e-mail: rodney@rodneyedwards.co.uk

Surely I can’t be the only one that’s left inspired by the daily musings of the rather wonderful Pauline McLynn?

As a journalist and fan, the blog belonging to the fine author and actress best known for playing the iconic Mrs Doyle in Father Ted is a must-read as she pens her thoughts via the (sometimes temperamental) internet - on life, love, work, her cats and himself (the husband) - an intriguing insight into a woman a lot of us Ted fans have grown up with.

As someone longing to scrape together some sort of book; Pauline’s quest to write yet another tale is a fascinating journey to follow. She has been frantically working on her next book - a journey interrupted by the odd bit of TV work, globe trotting, birthday parties and funerals. Not to mention, some sort of building work in the house.

For months she has updated her readers on the book’s progress and like I said, for me and those working and hoping on the completion of a book - it’s inspirational. Learning of course, that the best thing to do is just knuckle down and get on with it. Oh, and the ability to be able to actually, er, write.

On reading Pauline’s blog I can’t help thinking I’m intruding on her diary entires, though. The only thing missing from the posts are doctor and hair appointment reminders and little stick men and women scribbles in the corner. But no… I must put my conscious aside and read on - I’ve got a book to write and the wisdom of a fine writer to take heed from.

Thank you Pauline for sharing your story of ambition and drive, setting goals, reaching targets and just doing it. ‘Cos I intend to do all of the above. Now all I need is a publishing deal.

… And so I face the final curtain…

e-mail: rodney@rodneyedwards.co.uk

In Take That style; yes, the rumours are true - I have left Vibe FM.

After hundreds of shows and thousands of hours of live broadcasting; it really is the end of an era.

Fairly quickly the breakfast show became the jewel in Vibe FM’s crown and was easily the most successful show on the station. Top quality prizes, celebrity guests, popular features you could set your clock by and “actual” banter between myself and “actual” friend, Sean Paul Curry.

The show was lively, imaginative and bordered along the insane as we crept in and out of the line that determined what was acceptable on radio. We never crossed it, by the way. Always remained professional and never alienated our audience or treated them as fools, we kept the show natural but most of all, we kept it fun. Ensuring it was enjoyable was the most important thing and as we broadcasted for 20 hours each week - this was something we mastered from 7 - 11 each day, every day. The 5am starts were a bit of a nightmare though.

On the subject of radio features (by which I mean a repeated, formulaic item in the programme schedule) I must touch on them briefly. Features are the punctuation of shows, whether it’s Thought for the Day, the newspaper review on The Today Programme, or Popmaster with Ken Bruce on Radio 2. You can set your watch by them, and they provide a valuable sense of familiarity and connection for listeners. They are responsible for some of the most inventive - but also some of the laziest - broadcasting.

A good show, with a confident, amiable identity, will always have a strong set of unique features. Steve Wright in the Afternoon is a prime example: you might not relish his “factoids” but they tell you without doubt which show you are listening to. And I do love Ask Elvis. We had Breakfast Buster, Family Fortunes, Paul’s Price is Right and the Retro Jukebox - all of them were very successful and what the listeners learnt to expect every morning.

A massive audience from all over Fermanagh and the world tuned in religiously each morning. Sitting in Enniskillen and reading messages from Australia, America, Denmark, Greece and beyond was very surreal and unheard of on community radio. In an age that flourishes with opportunity and choice, I will always be in debt to those that bothered to give us a listen when so many other shows were available.

The Bigger Breakfast Show constantly broke community radio records for text messages, e-mails and phone calls. We’d get hundreds each morning and one time logged over 600 phone calls and over 900 text messages. Remarkable achievement for any show on local radio - community or even commercial.

I will miss the show and the listeners and I thank them and Sean Paul for contributing to a show that changed the sound of local radio for the better.

“For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!”

ANYONE that carries a knife in public should be immediately locked up behind bars. Britain is experiencing a terrifying rise in knife crime as the Government fails to get a grip on the epidemic and more and more young people are being killed.

A shocking 28 teenagers have been stabbed to death in the UK just this year and now police fear that the escalating rise could see more than 100 teenage murders in 2008 if Labour doesn’t get their act together. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has been blasted for not doing enough and last week through much public pressure, she announced a £5million push against gang crime. But it is too little, too late.

The chilling truth is that we now live in times were children are killing children – but more crucially, those that kill are getting away with it and for the small number that are caught and jailed, most of them are out in a few years due to prison over-crowding, etc. Some of which, may then do community service so it gets a tick in the box somewhere in the administration department of Downing Street. That’s right - in between watering plants or lifting rubbish, these murderers are ready if necessary, to kill again. Everything about this is disgusting. How would you feel, if your child was one of the victims? Exactly. Why should we all live in fear of crime on our doorsteps?

Figures obtained under the freedom of information act show that there is a knife crime committed in the UK every 24 minutes. In fact the figures show that in 2007, 5,500 serious knife crimes took place in the UK in just 3 months. Here in Northern Ireland, approximately 1,200 knife-related crimes occur in the province every year, while in the Republic knife crime has risen 300% in four years.

If the Government and police were as stringent on knife crime as they are on speeding, parking and smoking, the problem would soon go away. They have failed to implement zero-tolerance on knife crime and it needs introduced pronto.

There is a knife-wielding, gun-toting, violent gang culture thrashing humanity and it’s making Britain just as dangerous as New York, and that’s not even including the threat of terrorism. The scumbags that murder others should be locked up for a very, very long time and left to suffer, not freed soon after.

Metal detectors should be in schools, regular police searches need set up and curfews for wayward yobs that ruin small communities need to be enforced. Another knife amnesty is needed too (In 2006, Northern Ireland held a knife amnesty and 886 knives were handed in; 28 of which, were from Fermanagh). There’s no reason why anyone should be carrying a knife in public, especially children – it’s ridiculous.

There is also the notion that tackling these problems requires a bout of political-correctness – you know, one must be careful not to upset folk. We need to ditch this PC nonsense because at the end of the day, why beat around the bush. Tell things straight. Most of society, no matter the colour or faith, could do with a good ticking-off and reminded how to live their lives. If you do the crime, you’ll do the time. And if that doesn’t work, bring back Capital Punishment.

Rodney Edwards presents the Bigger Breakfast Show 7-11am, Mon-Fri on Vibe FM 105.3FM.

Taken from the Impartial Reporter, 29th May 2008

Less public eyesores, more public art

e-mail: rodney@rodneyedwards.co.uk

Waterways Ireland’s new Headquarters in Enniskillen is a bit of an eyesore. There’s something slightly hypocritical about an organisation that’s very much up for the nurturing of water, nature and the environment; ripping up the ground along Lough Erne’s edge and replacing it with a pile of bricks. The colossal waste of space on the Sligo road looks big and bulky; a multitude of construction overlooking the busy road blocks out the rather nice view of the town and lake behind it. (If of course, you ignore the back of the Lakeland Forum which isn’t exactly postcard material). It’s a similar obstruction on the opposite end of the river too.

But Waterways Ireland’s HQ isn’t the only building that infringes on Enniskillen’s picturesque landscape; the recently built Fermanagh House commanded quite a large chunk of the much liked Broadmeadow - previously home to dog walkers or thugs drinking cider. It may just be a plot of grass but it, like a lot of the County’s prominent areas are the real local gems and slowly but surely, getting torn apart and replaced with unsightly buildings. Remember the Clinton Centre row anyone? The controversial design was panned by locals and has still yet to be endeared to by most.

I like the idea of innovative buildings, just not when they are at the cost of something more valuable to Fermanagh – like its lakes, which are part of our global success. Without them, Fermanagh would be one big traffic jam, sandwiched in between fast food restaurants and dozens of money-grabbing apartment blocks. So, shame on Waterways Ireland for forcing tourists to walk further to find that perfect holiday snap.

What Enniskillen needs more than suitably placed revolutionary structures is imaginative and original public art. I like art a lot and the scope with displaying art in the public domain is far greater than the constraints you get with other forms of the subject. With public art, you can site, stage or exhibit any works to be accessible to all – monuments, statutes, lighting, seating, fountains and even graffiti – although I quite duly, “draw” a line at offensive scrawls across public buildings.

Typically ingenious, public art can say more about a place than anything else and there are many places in Enniskillen that art in some form would, benefit, refresh and brighten up the area – it just needs a bit of thought, planning and of course, permission. Bear that in mind, before you grab your paper, paints and sticky-back plastic, eager to follow in the illustrious brushstrokes of Michelangelo, Picasso and modern day public artist; Banksy.

Although, I can’t help thinking that through the artistic trend of “surrealism” in capturing the element of surprise and liberated imagination, creating a 20ft papier-mâché Siamese-cow in purple wellington boots and placing it on the Diamond would look more appealing than some of the ridiculous offerings currently cluttering up Fermanagh. Any public art suggestions on the back of a quaint Waterways Ireland postcard please. Incidentally, they don’t actually “do” postcards to my knowledge, but there’s nothing like concluding an opinionated piece with a cheap cynical dig…

Rodney Edwards presents the Bigger Breakfast Show 7-11am, Mon-Fri on Vibe FM 105.3FM